Zen and the Art of Peeling Hard Boiled Eggs

In this crazy world…wait. Let me stop and take a drink at – *peers at computer clock* 10:15 AM. I saw on Twitter they were a making a drinking game out of that phrase. Heh. Anyway, OHAI! Welcome back to my blog! I’m so glad to see you! How are you today? Well, I hope! At any rate, I was thinking about what I would write next while peeling eggs the other day, and I thought to myself, you know? there really is an art to peeling hard boiled eggs. It’s very zen. And thus, a blog was born.

Speaking of zen, I think that in this crazy world – DAMMIT, <drink> I DID IT AGAIN! Good heavens, I better not use that turn of phrase again; I’ll be schnockered when this blog is finished! Ha ha. But right about now when everyone is quarantined and losing their collective minds, myself included, it seems that a moment of zen is increasingly difficult to find; for me at least. I might seem mellow and easy going on Twitter maybe, but in real life I’m a boiling mass of anxiety. Right now, I’m a boiling mass of anxiety on a diet, into which I have incorporated hard boiled eggs for a snack that keeps me filled up so I don’t eat the entire world at lunch.

HOWEVER, I am pleased to report that a moment of zen to counteract said anxiety can be found in peeling said hard boiled eggs. Actually, I found out there’s kind of an art to making a hard boiled egg in and of itself. First of all, did you know that there are about eight million ways to boil an egg, according to the Internet? Not even kidding. I know this because I had never boiled an egg, prior to the week before last.

Well, after searching the Internet for the Perfect Egg-Boiling Method (since I am a perfectionist who likes to do things, as Mary Poppins said, Practically Perfect), I settled on this recipe from Delish – here’s the link if you’re interested: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a58284/how-to-make-perfect-hard-boiled-eggs/. One caveat though; on my phone when I pulled up this recipe, it covered the recipe up with a pop-up urging me to subscribe to their cookbook. Which I did, because I WANTED THAT DAMN RECIPE.

I notice it doesn’t do this on the desktop version, though. No matter.

Moving right along.

So I set out my eggs, my pot, my ice water bowl, and…about twenty minutes later, (seven minutes for the eggs, five for the ice bath and an additional eight to peel, cut and season…okay maybe ten minutes…okay I’ll admit I don’t know and I’ll time myself next time), to my utter delight, I had a tray of PERFECT HARD BOILED EGGS!! I screamed with glee, proudly showed my mom and Mr. Husband, and then captured my moment of glory to be uploaded to Twitter.

Would you believe I got forty-one likes on that tweet?? I was rather pleased. In any event, I have since noticed I have quite the moment of zen while peeling hard boiled eggs. I find that I am comforted by ritual, and there’s something very peaceful about the whole process of hard boiling eggs, but peeling the eggs in particular is where I find the most zen. The act of peeling eggs is very mindful, believe it or not.

I find I have to slow down and think about what I’m doing. For instance, if I peel too hard (pro tip: don’t use your fingernails), I risk denting my egg. If I try to peel too much shell at once, I risk taking a whole bunch of white off with the shell and I’m left with a little soccer ball of a yolk. Another pro tip? Let the eggs sit in the ice water bath for about five minutes and then peel them under cold running water for the best results.

And usually I only do about four eggs at a time. They’ll last in the fridge for up to a week but I don’t know about week-old eggs. Four day old eggs? Fine. Week-old eggs? Not so much.

So yeah, I have been twice successful boiling eggs thus far! I did have one casualty the time before last but, uh, we won’t talk about that. I pair one hard boiled egg with about ten almonds and a Colby-Jack cheese stick and I have a filling snack with only about 230 calories that will easily carry me to lunch! Plus, you’ll all be pleased to know that boiling eggs did not make my kitchen smell like farts. Also, I was pleasantly surprised to note that after eating hard-boiled eggs, I don’t smell like farts. AND I found a moment or two of zen in the process. WINNING!

So, like Danny Devito says:

I’ll even boil it for you. No charge, and no farts. If you play your cards right, I might even let you peel it and experience the zen for yourself.

Thanks for reading,

Meredith Silverman