So there’s a BIG childfree movement happening on Twitter, and I am HERE for it. More and more people aren’t having kids. The “why” in my opinion is irrelevant, but there are folks who make it THEIR BUSINESS to query and damn us childfree folk. We’re selfish bastards. We’re horrible people. How dare we? And yet, I notice the folks who can’t have children are elevated to sainthood by society, the poor, poor, things. But if I say I didn’t have kids because I don’t like them, I’m regarded as Jeffrey Dahmer 2.0. Why? Why am I a monster if I don’t like kids?
First of all, WHY is it anyone’s business? Also? WHEN did it become prevalent for people to stop minding their business? When did it become okay to be asking all these nosy questions of relative strangers about the proceeds of their uterus?
You said it, Lakeyah. I swear, this comes to mind EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME someone demands to know why I (or anyone, really) didn’t have kids. First of all, seriously, MIND YOUR BUSINESS. In the past, I’d paste a wistful look on my face and say “it wasn’t in the cards.” But why should I have to do that? Why couldn’t I just say, “I’m not mother material”? You know why? Because it didn’t end there. IT NEVER DID. It just wound up into a 20 minute interrogation into VERY PERSONAL INFORMATION I didn’t want to get into.
The “Monster” Who Doesn’t Like Kids Has Entered The Chat.
But finally when I broke down and said, “I don’t like kids”, well, then I’m a goddamn monster. That needs to stop, effective immediately. Now I can’t control what people think, but let me enlighten you all – NOT LIKING KIDS DOES NOT MAKE ME OR ANYONE ELSE A MONSTER. Yet we’re all so afraid to tell the truth and shame the devil, aren’t we? I know I am. Well, I was. I’m in my villain era now, so let’s go on ahead and TELL ALL THE TRUTH, shall we?
The simple truth is, society has LONG regarded people who don’t LOVE or WANT children as monsters. In fact, those of use who don’t like kids are regarded as broken and lacking. Look at this reddit post for example. This woman’s FRIENDS are calling her a monster literally because she doesn’t like or want children. Granted, she needs some new friends, but that’s GROSS!! And it’s hurtful! But it doesn’t answer the question of WHY someone is a monster because they don’t like kids.
Spoiler: they’re not. The REAL monsters are the pedophiles, school shooters, and child-abusers, FYI. And I am NONE of those. So excuse me if I just CANNOT SEEM TO WRAP MY BRAIN around why someone would think I’m a “monster” because I don’t like children. I literally listed the reasons why I don’t like kids in Why Am I Selfish For Not Having Children but that STILL doesn’t get me off the hook. Also? NOT HAVING KIDS ISN’T SELFISH, IT’S SELF-AWARE and good on me! But going back and re-reading that blog, I was all like “call me a monster if you want but…” and you know what?
FUCK ALL THAT NOISE RIGHT NOW. I’M NOT A MONSTER. PERIOD. I pay my taxes and mind my business. I leave people the fuck alone. And I’m out here in these streets just trying to live a good life and not bother anybody.
So Let’s Get One Thing Straight Right TF NOW.
First of all, JUST BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE KIDS DOES NOT MEAN I WANT HARM TO BEFALL THEM.
Read that again.
In fact, my husband and I have talked about this at LENGTH when we feel shunned and judged by the neighborhood breeders who think everyone in the world should be popping out a crotch goblin or two once a year for the next ten or however many years.
So just for the record? I NEVER see a kid, even one being an obnoxious little shit, and think, KILL IT WITH THE FIRE. I might want them to shut the hell up when they’re screaming like banshees getting murdered, and I don’t want them anywhere near me, but I DO NOT want anything bad to happen to them. EVER.
For example, Uvalde. I was heartsick over that for WEEKS, maybe even MONTHS. Like, it fucked me up really badly because NO CHILD should be harmed like that. I cried for these tiny kids I didn’t even know, and even as I write this I’m holding back sobs at the memory of that horrific, terrifying event.
Still think I’m a monster?
I Didn’t Like Kids Even When I *Was* A Kid. Was I A Monster Then?
In fact, there’s been a concourse on Twitter about people getting pissed off over crying babies on planes & stuff, and I think that’s fucked up. Babies cry. It’s what they do. They can’t help it. And if I’m telling the truth, I DO get annoyed over kids screaming in public places, but I don’t blame the kids. I BLAME THE FUCKING PARENTS WHO WON’T SHUT THEM THE HELL UP. But yet I’m the monster because I don’t want to hear the brain-splitting screams of your toddling crotch fruit through the double paned windows that I installed so I could have some peace and quiet for a change? Yeah, you can fuck ALL the way off with that bullshit.
People Who Don’t Like Children Are Not Monsters. Period.
I took a little break from this blog a minute ago to go sit out in the sun and got to thinking. You know who probably regard me as a monster for not having kids? The same people who would shoot a sixteen year old boy who rang the wrong doorbell, shoot a young woman barely out of her teens for pulling up in the wrong driveway, or shoot up an elementary school.
And truthfully I can’t help but wonder if these are the same people who leave their animals outside all day in the 110 degree heat or put a choke-collar on a rooster to keep it from crowing properly. Or how about the people that REGRET having their own children and are MISERABLE, but they project that regret on me and call me a monster because they cannot look in the mirror and say it to themselves.
Or Maybe People Could Just Mind Their Own Goddamn Business.
And here’s one more bit of truth for the “why didn’t you have kids” crowd…
Nobody ever looked at me and said, “hey Meredith, I want you to be the mother of my kids.”
Which is fine because I never wanted any, but still, it might’ve been nice to have been asked.
Maybe that’s what I should start answering these invasive assholes with when they get on their high horse and start asking questions that really ARE none of their damn business. I can’t help but wonder if THAT would shut them up. Or maybe I’ll just tell the God’s honest truth, which is I met & married my husband late in life, I’m too old now & never wanted any anyway because I detest children with the passion of a thousand burning suns.
Or maybe people should just MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.
Let’s Talk About The Real Monsters Out Here.
So, if you are the kind of asshole who will literally interrogate me or anyone else about when we are going to have kids, or WHY we didn’t have them, then YOU, my friend, are the monster. You have NO BUSINESS asking ANYONE that. Also? You can keep your judgment to yourself. If you don’t like my decisions? You don’t have to abide by them. But what you DON’T get to do is label ME a monster because I don’t like something that you LOVE. I’m not going to label YOU a monster because you don’t like cats or reptiles. It’s pretty simple. I don’t like kids. So I stay away from them. But I’m not out here saying NOBODY should have kids. That’s your business. SO MIND IT, LIKE I DO MINE.
Need an example? Last week, in Walmart, I saw a couple with SIX KIDS and a SEVENTH well on the way. Did I march my happy ass up to her and DEMAND to know WHY IN THE HOLY FUCK did she have all them kids? Did I ask her what POSSESSED HER in THIS day and age to pop a kid out every year for the last 6-7 years into this dumpster fire of a world? Or get in her face and call her a MONSTER for forcibly ejecting MORE humans from her body onto an already overpopulated, dying planet?
No I did not. You know why? BECAUSE that would NEVER occur to me to do so. I don’t think she’s a monster for having all those kids. Maybe she wanted a big family. I don’t know, but what I DO know is that it’s NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Because I MIND MY BUSINESS. Which seems to be a lost art, these days, judging by the amount of people who want to MAKE the contents of MY or anyone else’s womb (or lack thereof) THEIR business.
Call me crazy, but that seems pretty monstrous to me.
Lastly? Let’s Choose Our Labels And Whom We Pin Them On Wisely.
Still think I’m a monster because I don’t like kids? Again, spoiler-I’m not, and neither is anyone else. In fact, if you want to find some REAL monsters? WATCH THE NEWS. Look on social media at ALL the child-harming predators out there-WHO, BY THE WAY, ARE NOT THE DRAG QUEENS OR TRANS PEOPLE JUST FOR EVERYONE’S INFORMATION.
And remember, someone who doesn’t LIKE kids or WANT your kids near them is certainly NOT going to go out of their way to hurt them. But that pedophile who snatches your kids sure will, and so will the predator who shoots up an elementary school. So maybe, just MAYBE, save your judgment and harshness for THEM. Just a thought.
Meanwhile, in the presence of those who don’t have a bunch of kids? Or any at all? MIND YOUR BUSINESS AND LET US LIVE OUR HAPPY, CHILD-FREE LIVES IN PEACE.
And thanks for reading,