We Can’t All Be Kings

I read a LOT as a kid. And one of my FAVORITE books to read over and over was Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Many of the stories stuck with me, but the one that stuck the most was “Eve’s Various Children”, which you can read here. Or I can just tell you the moral, which is, we can’t all be kings, merchants, and scholars. Or to bring that story into the present, doctors, lawyers, or Presidents. But what do I mean?

What do you MEAN we can’t all be kings?! Tell me more, Meredith!

So, long story short, God paid Eve and her kids a visit. He blesses her pretty kids with stellar careers. Kings. Merchants. Noblemen. Scholars. You get the idea. So Eve thinks…GREAT! Let me go on ahead and get my ugly kids, maybe God will be just as generous. So God sees her little raggedy, ugly kids and blesses them as peasants, fishermen, and lastly, a “household servant all the days of your life.”

Well, Eve is annoyed because why didn’t ALL her kids get blessed equally? So she hauled off and asked God, “Look, yo, what’s with all the unequal blessings?”

And God, in His infinite wisdom, tells her this:

“Eve, you do not understand. It is right and necessary that the entire world should be served by your children. If they were all princes and lords, who would plant grain, thresh it, grind and bake it? Who would forge iron, weave cloth, build houses, plant crops, dig ditches, and cut out and sew clothing? Each shall stay in his own place, so that one shall support the other, and all shall be fed like the parts of a body.”

God, via The Brothers Grimm

So Eve gets it and shuts her ass with a quickness. And you know, that story has stuck with me for the past thirty years – AT LEAST. And as for me, I assume I’m Eve’s ugliest kid, because what am I? A housewife. Is that glamorous? No. Is it necessary? You bet your ass it is!

I Might Not Be Royalty, But…

First of all, if you read my last blog, you’ll know I’ve been having a bit of an existential crisis lately. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m here, as well as what my purpose is. Plus, I’ve been grieving my shattered dreams of fame and fortune. But now, I think I’ve moved on to the acceptance phase. Because honestly, I think if God meant me to be a “king, merchant, or scholar,” so to speak, I’d be one.

So what is my purpose? I’ve never really known. Like you know how some people just know from a young age that they want to be a doctor. Or a lawyer. Or a football player. But as for me? I had no idea. I just assumed like Edgar here, that I’d find my purpose eventually.

And lately, I’ve come to the realization that I’m exactly where God wants me to be. My purpose is to be a doting housewife. A loving daughter. And you know what? I’m GOOD at it! I can cook like a MF RIOT. I’m excellent at cleaning! I love doing laundry! That might sound a little weird, but it’s true! I zen out while I’m folding towels! And it’s funny, but when I tapped into what it is I’m good at? Instead of dwelling on what I’m not? Holy cow, that was a game changer for me!

We’re Not All Meant To Be Kings, But We ALL Have a Purpose

After I understood that I don’t have the energy or the drive to be some big, famous…whatever, I thought, well, what the hell IS it I’m here to do? Actually, I hauled off and asked God what it is He wants me to do. Since, ultimately, I believe HE’s in control of my life, not I.

To be honest with you all, I think I kind of forgot that for awhile while I stumbled around in a lane that I’m not meant to be in. I think God allows us to do that so that when we DO stumble upon our purpose, it feels like a big win and we can be happy about it. And really, when you think about it, isn’t happiness the ultimate goal in this life?

And y’know what they say, when you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.

Breaking News: I LOVE Being Eve’s Ugliest Kid

Or, at least descended from Eve’s ugliest kid, ha ha. That whole “house servant all the days of your life” always rings true to me. And it’s funny, because I’ve always been in some kind of service role. ALWAYS. Which can make a person feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things. BUT!

Even Eve’s ugliest lil raggedy child had a place designated by God to live, serve, and thrive.

After all, aren’t we all in service to each other, as well as God? EVERY MEMBER of God’s team is significant, no matter how “small” your job is. More on that in a moment.

And not EVERYONE is destined for greatness! Tony Robbins can suck it, and HE’s part of the problem. There’s WAAAAAY too much pressure on people in this world to be rich, powerful, successful! Think about it! What do you hear on pretty much a constant basis these days?

RISE AND GRIND!

LET’S GET THIS MONEY!

HOW??

WORK THREE JOBS 27 HOURS A DAY UNTIL YOU DIE!

And as a side-note, sadly in THIS economy, that’s become a necessity because of corporate greed and capitalism. You know how it goes. The rich get richer, and the poor die trying.

Think about it. Open up your Instagram. What do you see? Wealth. Status. Designer labels. Which can be hard on a poor schmuck like me who is “just” a housewife. Or someone who is “just” an assistant. You know what I mean? I actually QUIT Instagram because I got tired of being made to feel less-than by some influencer whose car costs as much as my house. And you know what? A LOT of it is ALL bullshit. Smoke and mirrors.

We Don’t All Have To Be Kings, Queens, IG Famous or Influencers To Be Happy.

So please don’t let that make you feel bad. Because here’s the deal.

Your life, and the work you do, REGARDLESS of what job you have, MATTERS. Snobs want to look down on a garbage man, but they’d be highly upset if their trash wasn’t picked up! And if you don’t have any ambition, FUCK IT! Do what YOU like to do. What the hell good is it to have a job that you HATE? Or you’re making yourself miserable trying to fit in where clearly you don’t belong because you heard some asshole bleating, RAISE YOUR STANDARDS! In fact, allow me to quote someone here with a very important insight:

“I knew I wasn’t destined for greatness when I couldn’t be annoyed to pursue it.”

My mama.

And let me tell you, I had ZERO ambition when I was younger. I started out as “just” a receptionist. You know what? I LIKED being a receptionist. I didn’t WANT to be the boss. Some years went by and I started dating this super-driven workaholic dipshit who used to get in my ass all the time for LACK of ambition. To which I’d say, “listen, bub, we can’t ALL be doctors and lawyers. After all, SOMEONE’s got to answer the phone and make the appointments.”

Sound familiar?

Ambition Isn’t Always A Good Thing. Trust me.

But after awhile he got in my head and I decided I was going to be the best damn receptionist there ever was and THEN some. I started taking on extra work. And yes, I got bit by the ambition bug. Soon, I was running the entire front office.

I mean I’m talking about everything from answering the phone to billing the customers to purchasing to whatever the hell else they could load me up with. I was making good money, and I enjoyed being married to my job.

Until I had a nervous breakdown and ended up burning out at 39 years old.

Luckily, I’m regaining my health and wellness. Of course, it’s now ten years later, but you know what happened to Ambitious Adam? He dropped dead at forty-eight, the age I am now. BECAUSE HE WORKED HIMSELF TO DEATH.

And I’m alive to tell you the story. So tell me, who’s the real winner here?

But I digress.

Anyway, would you like to know what my secret dream was when I was a kid? To be a housewife. Yep. A housewife. That’s what I wanted. And I learned this when I was eight years old. I remember one sunny summer morning, my mom and I were folding towels fresh out of the dryer, while watching Good Morning America on television. I remember feeling the crisp morning breeze from the open window on my skin, smelling the fresh laundry, and the sensation of calm and peace that came over me in that moment. And I remember sighing happily and thinking, this is what I want.

Do What Makes You Happy. What Other People Think Doesn’t Matter!

Forty years later, I’ve achieved that dream of a happy housewife life. Granted, a lot of people might scream YOU WANTED TO BE A HOUSEWIFE? THAT’S IT? THAT’S NOT BOSS-BABE VIBES! YOU’RE LETTING SOME MAN CONTROL YOUR LIFE! YOU’RE NOT INDEPENDENT! BLAH BLAH BLAH!

Let me head all that off now by inviting anyone who dares say this to me to go fuck yourself right in the neck with a pitchfork. Because I’m happy, FINALLY. Why? Well, not that I need to justify myself to ANYONE, but I’ll tell you anyway. I am an integral part of this household. I’m needed. Wanted. Depended on. And you know what else? I’m APPRECIATED, something I never was when I was working outside the home. And trust me, I’m WELL taken care of.

Which, after a lifetime of breaking my back every day for the past 20+ years for bosses who could give a red hot crap if I lived or died, is a very welcome place to be. I realize how fortunate and blessed I am. Which is why at this point I could care less if I ever make it “big”. As far as my mom and husband are concerned, I’m the star of this show. Or as I like to tell ’em:

So What Have We Learned (Other Than We Can’t All Be Kings?)

No longer do I need to seek approval from strangers, and I’m writing this because I want other people to know that they don’t HAVE to work themselves to death because that’s what society or social media thinks they should do. And if you don’t necessarily know what you want to be when you grow up, even if you’re already grown up? That’s okay too. Try different things, until you find out what it is you want to do. Do NOT let society, your parents, your friends, your partner or ANYONE ELSE (including yourself) push you into some thing you don’t necessarily want to do, because THEY think you should.

And never, EVER, under ANY circumstances, are you to believe that because you are in a service job, that you are “just” an assistant or “just” a customer service rep or “just” a server or anything else. There is no “just” about it. Be PROUD of your role, whatever it is, because you earned it, you’re good at it, and you are part of the team. Your employer might not tell you this directly, but trust me, they need you. Because without you, they have no business.

Again I say, we can’t all be kings, so to speak. And you know what’s beautiful about that? We don’t HAVE to be. So get on out there and do what makes YOU happy. And if you have zero ambition and you just want to answer the phone for the rest of your life? That’s okay too. There’s room for ALL of Eve’s children at the table. And you’ll figure that out, just like I did.

See you next time,
Meredith Silverman