Recently on Twitter there was yet ANOTHER discourse about minding childfree people’s business. This time (in a since-deleted tweet), someone claimed people in their forties (like myself) are/will be lonely because we didn’t have kids in our twenties and/or thirties. Ummmm…what? FIRST of all, why are some people so pressed about the childfree all of a sudden? I mean, I’m used to the judgment & the bombastic side-eye from people in real life, but now the INTERNET?! C’MON! And God forbid someone be MARRIED and childfree? OMG HOW DARE WE?! Listen, a childfree lifestyle is NOT a crime, last I checked.
Yet some folks are MAD AS HELL at COMPLETE STRANGERS (like myself) on the internet for choosing NOT to procreate! AND at the same time they’re seemingly UTTERLY concerned for our emotional and physical well being! Like, how are they gonna act SO WORRIED about the lives of people they don’t even know and probably wouldn’t piss on if we were on fire?
Childfree People, ROLL OUT! Our Time Is NOW!
Meanwhile, in our post Roe v. Wade world, the childfree lifestyle is having a MAJOR moment, much to the displeasure of those who think women need to be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Well, TOUGH TITTY SAID THE KITTY WHEN THE MILK WENT DRY because us childfree folk are increasing in EXPONENTIAL numbers.
In fact…let us examine the evidence, shall we?
Tired: Having a bunch of kids. Just ask Millennials and Gen Z.
Wired: Sterilization surgery. Now, it’s simpler than ever. That is to say, if you can find and convince a provider. But keep trying. Planned Parenthood would be a good place to start.
And truthfully, I cannot, but CANNOT blame anyone who does NOT want to bring children into a world where they may not live to see nine years old (thanks, every school shooter ever). Yet us childfree folk are out here being figuratively CRUCIFIED online for what?
Trying to live our lives, pay our taxes, and mind our collective business? But WE’RE the assholes? Again, HOW DOES THAT WORK? So how about I set the record straight because ONCE AGAIN…(say it with me)
A CHILDFREE LIFESTYLE IS NOT A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY!!!
And here’s MY response to every SINGLE entitled, asshole pick-me parent who thinks it’s a FELONY for a PERFECT STRANGER they know NOTHING about to NOT have children:
You know what IS criminal? MURDERING a human being to DEATH for asking their demented neighbor to stop shooting an AR-15 all over their backyard at midnight. THAT’s criminal. What’s NOT criminal is me and my childfree comrades over here minding our childfree business. Yet there are people on this planet who want to basically BURN US AT THE STAKE for…what? NOT procreating?
Again, MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
Here’s what also doesn’t make sense to me, are ya ready?
The AUDACITY of COMPETE STRANGERS TELLING ME I’M GOING TO REGRET MY CHILDFREE LIFESTYLE.
Okay FIRST OF ALL? Let me shut this down RIGHT NOW by answering some of these perfect strangers’ BURNING QUESTIONS, all right? Since said perfect strangers are SO worried that us childfree folks are going to wind up (or already are) lonely, miserable, and uncared for, let me put ALL of their minds at ease.
WhO’s GOnnA TAkE CAre OF yoU WHen You’RE OLd?People who should worry about themselves and their OWN damn kids
Well, I reckon I’ll take care of myself, LIKE I DID FOR THE MAJORITY OF MY LIFE. If not, I’ll move my happy ass into an assisted living home and THEY’LL take care of me. Problem solved. Also? HAVING A CHILD AS A RETIREMENT PLAN IS DISGUSTING.
YoU’Re GonnA bE LOneLY WithOUT ChILDreN!People who should mind the business that pays them
Am I though? As an introvert, I *really* enjoy my own company. However, I HAVE, believe it or not, been known to make a friend or two. But if folks are THAT worried about it, PLEASE drop an addy. That way, I can write ’em about how “lonely” I am when I’m AT said assisted living home befriending ALL the sad parents whose kids dropped them off and never came back.
YoU’LL NeVEr KnOW TrUE haPPIness WiTHout HaVIng KidS.People who REALLY need to focus on their OWN happiness
I dunno, man, because I gotta tell ya, I’m enjoying life these days. I’m happier than I’ve ever been at nearly fifty years old. I have a terrific family, wonderful pets, I own my own home, have disposable income, and I can pretty much do whatever the fuck I feel like EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. What more could I want? It doesn’t get much better than that, IMO.
Having Children Is A Choice, SO KINDLY RESPECT MY CHOICE NOT TO HAVE THEM.
Let’s all remember that what people (women AND men) do with their bodies (INCLUDING HAVING CHILDREN) IS A CHOICE, and that choice comes down to ONE PERSON – THEM. If a man wants to have a vasectomy because he doesn’t want kids and that’ll make him happy? GOOD ON HIM. If a woman wants to have a bilateral salpingectomy because SHE doesn’t want children and this will make her happy? GOOD ON HER.
Also? The fact that childfree folks are SO SELF AWARE THAT WE KNOW WITHIN A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that we DON’T want children should be CELEBRATED for fuck’s sake, NOT CONDEMNED! And FOR THE RECORD? The government SHOULD NOT be messing around with that decision AT ALL. PERIOD.
On top of that? Regardless of what the religious zealots IN the government want you to believe, a clump of cells isn’t a child, and abortion is NOT murder. IT’S HEALTHCARE. And I believe that personal sterilization is NOT a sin against God.
In fact, I believe that God would rather see someone who KNOWS they’d be a terrible parent take themselves out of the equation completely, rather than have a child they’ll wind up resenting and quite possibly abusing because society pressured them to. I believe that’s SELFLESS, rather than selfish, so that finishes up THAT argument, doesn’t it?
By the way?
A Childfree Lifestyle Isn’t A Crime So Stop Treating It Like It Is
Again I say, being childfree ISN’T A CRIME so how about some people out there *cough* parents *cough* stop treating it like it is? Better yet, how about y’all entitled parents out there worry about your OWN selves and YOUR OWN KIDS. Why y’all so worried about ME and people LIKE ME? Don’t these permissively parented bratty ass kids of yours take up ENOUGH of your time and energy?
I mean that’s what I’VE always heard from parents; THEY’RE SO BUSY AND TIRED from chasing their kids around all day! So how is it they MIRACULOUSLY have time to worry about MY life and try to make ME and again, OTHERS LIKE ME feel bad for making a choice that makes ME/US/THEM happy on the daily?
In fact, here’s something these entitled assholes can do the VERY NEXT TIME they want to negatively comment on a childfree person’s lifestyle on social media or otherwise:
Unless these blowhards are literally Meredith “Fuck Them Kids” Silverman from the future and know something me of today doesn’t? They can SHUT THEIR SANCTIMONIOUS PIE HOLE ALL THE WAY UP. My childfree lifestyle is NOT something I should have to defend myself over, but I will time and time and time again until polite society returns to minding it’s own business and leaving the childfree the fuck alone to live their lives how WE see fit.
Remember, a childfree lifestyle is NOT a crime, but acting like an asshole to a complete stranger because of their lifestyle (that hurts NOBODY) CERTAINLY should be. Until such time as it is, though? Stop asking complete strangers personal questions about their procreational preferences!! And CERTAINLY quit making ridiculous, judgmental, unfounded assumptions about said personal procreational preferences for the love of God!
Can people kindly do that starting, oh, I don’t know, like, RIGHT NOW?
Thanks for reading,